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Borowitz writes: "Several prominent Nazis said on Tuesday that they feel 'neglected and hurt' by what they see as the Republican Party's decision to court child molesters instead."

Roy Moore. (photo: Kevin D. Liles/NYT)
Roy Moore. (photo: Kevin D. Liles/NYT)


Nazis Feeling Neglected After Republicans' Embrace of Child Molesters

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

06 December 17

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


everal prominent Nazis said on Tuesday that they feel “neglected and hurt” by what they see as the Republican Party’s decision to court child molesters instead.

After the Republican National Committee agreed to fund the alleged child molester Roy Moore’s campaign for the United States Senate, aggrieved Nazis called the move a blatant attempt to pander to the child-molester vote.

“It seems like just last summer President Trump was saying what ‘fine people’ we were,” Heinz Dorrinson, an embittered Nazi from Mississippi, said. “Now it seems like all he can think about is his precious child molesters.”

Dorrinson warned that, in their frenzy to woo the child-molester vote, Republicans were playing a dangerous game by taking the Nazi vote for granted.

“President Trump needs to remember who put him in the White House,” Dorrinson said. “Nazis have feelings, too.”

In Washington, the Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, said that the battle between Nazis and child molesters for control of the Republican Party was largely an invention of the media.

“The Republican Party in 2017 is a place where both Nazis and child molesters can feel at home,” McConnell said.


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-56 # babaregi 2017-12-06 15:58
Hitler had 'Special Camps' reserved for child molesters and other decadents.

What would a Feminist Hitler say about MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way)?:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9g7PLTTcFm0

-------
Boycott the NFL and Build the Wall
 
 
+17 # ericlipps 2017-12-07 05:40
Quoting babaregi:
Hitler had 'Special Camps' reserved for child molesters and other decadents.

What would a Feminist Hitler say about MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way)?:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9g7PLTTcFm0

-------
Boycott the NFL and Build the Wall

Does this mean you're defending Hitler now? Isn't Trump enough for you? I'm sure he'd be furious if he knew.
 
 
-10 # babaregi 2017-12-07 11:06
Quoting ericlipps:
Quoting babaregi:
Hitler had 'Special Camps' reserved for child molesters and other decadents.

What would a Feminist Hitler say about MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way)?:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9g7PLTTcFm0

-------
Boycott the NFL and Build the Wall

Does this mean you're defending Hitler now? Isn't Trump enough for you? I'm sure he'd be furious if he knew.


LOL, Defending Der Fuhrer? not really, this was Andy Borowitz' Nazi humor piece so I was playing along with his snark.

If anything, I'm making a point about feminism; check out the link I posted(damn funny if you're not stuck in the Leftist narrative).
 
 
+56 # Wise woman 2017-12-06 17:47
You gotta laugh or else you'll cry. Definitely one of Andy's best. It's hilarious. The swamp is happy to engulf the Grand Old Pervert party.
 
 
+18 # dusty 2017-12-06 23:03
McConnell and Trump are two of a kind: men of little moral bearings who believe it is okay to molest children. Oh, sorry that is probably the entire Gutless Old Pricks party that welcomes child molester into their embrace.
 
 
+16 # Salus Populi 2017-12-06 23:56
Nazis and child molesters, okay, but what about serial killers and cannibals? Shouldn't they get some attention from the Party of Family Values, too? I mean, sure, there aren't as many of them as there are Nazis and child molesters, but that's no reason to neglect or, worse, reject, them.
 
 
+18 # erdmanr 2017-12-07 02:14
All Andy's articles are terrific, but this one is especially brilliant. And Wise Woman, I love "Grand Old Pervert" party. So true now!
 
 
+2 # ddd-rrr 2017-12-07 05:28
8^), and "TRUE!"
 
 
+21 # progressiveguy 2017-12-07 09:15
The pussy grabber endorses the child molester. Republicans want more votes their way in congress. How much lower can they go.
 
 
+7 # waldemar 2017-12-07 10:02
Quoting progressiveguy:
The pussy grabber endorses the child molester. Republicans want more votes their way in congress. How much lower can they go.


ProgressiveGuy -- don't ask. They apparently take it as a dare & try to beat their own race to the bottom.
 
 
+7 # Working Class 2017-12-07 11:28
Quoting progressiveguy:
The pussy grabber endorses the child molester. Republicans want more votes their way in congress. How much lower can they go.


Please don't ask that question. The answer could very well involve us not being able to have this conversation, and many, many other more serious erosions of our rights. The founder of the modern progressive movement, who was also the 33rd Vice President of the United States, Henry A. Wallace warned us when he said, "The American fascist would prefer not to use violence. His method is to poison the channels of public information." Anyone out there know anyone who screams "fake news" whenever they hear something that does not fit their preferred picture of events? Anyone else see the absolute lie in the motto "Fair and Balanced" from FOX? Joseph Goebbels knew the first step in controlling the information the public had available to make their collective decisions (in what was then a democratic Germany) was to discredit all but your own rendition of the facts. Fake News indeed.
 
 
+5 # hectormaria 2017-12-07 13:06
The use of the Bible and patriotism to justify heinous act has been perfected by right-wing conservatives. A perfect example is what has happened and is happening in Alabama. There, they used religion to establish a 'Slave State' and now they use the Bible to establish a 'Pedophile State": blasphemy any way you look at it.
 
 
0 # kyzipster 2017-12-08 07:06
I'm afraid it's the Bible that's incompatible with civilized society, it's not Alabama that's blasphemous.
 
 
+1 # hectormaria 2017-12-08 15:26
I'm of the opinion that the Bible is not incompatible with a civilized society, it helps to make a society civil if applied properly. However, some humans use it to justify their selfish motives and to advance their grandiose self-delusions.
 
 
+10 # JayaVII 2017-12-07 16:44
'“The Republican Party in 2017 is a place where both Nazis and child molesters can feel at home,” McConnell said.'

Now that is one fine closing line. Bravo, Mr. Borowitz.
 

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